When we face a grievous loss – of a loved one, a job, a marriage, or health – depression can be an inevitable and appropriate response, providing a time-out to allow for healing. But what if one responded to such a loss with a casual yawn, as if none of it had mattered in the first place? That is the horror of acedia…

(Kathleen Norris, Acedia & me: New York, Riverhead Books, 2008, pp.23-24)

Acedia is the noonday demon, the soul on novocain. The clock seems to stop, the day stretches out forever as a vast wasteland of boredom. Work is a waste of time, other people uncaring, and everything good is somewhere else. Why bother with any of it? Listlessness sets in. This demon is subtle, bringing with it the delusion that vacating the present life situation isn’t only desirable, but noble. The question then arises: don’t I owe it to myself to leave behind this meaningless life?

Sometimes, things need to change. A harmful situation should be left immediately, but acedia isn’t about that. Acedia is throwing away the good and holy life God has provided. Acedia is not moving toward something good, it’s seeing everything good in the here and now as useless and boring. The “if only” thoughts arrive: if only I had a more caring spouse, if only others recognized my gifts, if only this place had a better view and congenial neighbors…A change of scenery won’t help because acedia lives in the discontented soul, not in the external location.

Cullen Story, professor and extraordinary pastor, used to give students and ministers a way to distinguish between acedia’s temptation to leave a life situation and God’s call to move forward: Until you love the location and people God has given you, you aren’t ready to leave.

A few years back, my husband Dave and I attended a party where I worked. Dave is a great listener, so I wasn’t surprised others talked to him about their lives, including my friend and co-teacher, Bill. The next morning, Bill said about Dave, “I felt worthwhile in his presence.”

My friend Heidi creates a welcoming space for youth at church and on mission trips. Young people tell her about their dreams and their hurts, and they share their questions about God and life with her – something they don’t do with many people. Knowing someone’s life story is a gift, and not everyone is worthy of that gift.

Gentleness is subtle, underrated and sometimes overlooked. Gentle spirits create a quiet, accepting space for others. They deepen the spiritual lives of others simply by being present. It’s hard to put into words, but here is my best attempt:

When someone affirms your true worth and honors your life story without saying a word, you are in the gracious presence of a gentle spirit. 

Joy is my spirit’s response when my eyes are opened. Seeing in the world the hand of God, the footprints of Christ, and the breath of the Spirit moves me into a reality so big and so full of love that every single atom in the universe is revealed as a holy gift. Each and every piece of the cosmos exists as a delight to God. Every living being is God’s beloved – people I don’t know, people I don’t like, people I love, animals, plants, rocks and water. With each new person, each new being that comes into the world, the entire universe is changed. When I see this truth, I know joy. When I live my life in joy, I offer this truth to others: the world we live in is the Kingdom of God.

Are there bad things in the world? Yes, and they must be faced. Are souls damaged every day through evil, abuse, and ignorance? Yes, and they ask us to be Christ’s healing presence. The void cannot be denied or explained away. But even the void carries us to our home in God. Living that truth is joy.

By contrast, the action of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

Sadness sometimes arises from frustrated desires… when desires are frustrated it arises…Evagrius Ponticus

My son Jared read Frost’s The Road Not Taken this week. It’s a good poem for any age; everyone old enough to read has chosen one path over another. Deeper life meaning is there, but like many of the things our grandparents tell us when we are young, it’s not important yet. It takes a certain amount of maturity to care whether the road not taken might have been a better one…

Sadness isn’t about what path is taken. It comes from not taking either path wholeheartedly. Looking back toward the fork in the road, staring into the woods in a vain attempt to see if the other road was the better one, not seeing the ground underfoot and the sky overhead – that’s what makes it a bad thought, something that will drain the soul of vitality and hope. The path chosen has more rocks, dull companions, and poorer weather. Clearly, the other path is easier and holier – It shows a different part of the woods, and the sun shines brighter on it. All that is good and desirable is on the other road, so who wouldn’t be frustrated? Frustration dulled over time becomes sadness – it takes a lot less energy to live in the grey shade of sadness than in the blazing red of angry frustration. All that is good is on the other path, and nothing of great value on the one chosen. If only the other path…

On the other path, others are staring into the woods in a vain attempt to see if another road was the better one, not seeing the ground underfoot and the sky overhead. The path chosen has more rocks, dull companions, and poorer weather. All that is good is on another path, and nothing of great value on the one chosen – just  frustration and sadness.

The refusal to see the blessing of the chosen present, forgetting that Jesus walks this path just as surely as any other – these are the fruits of sadness. Enjoyed often enough, it slows the feet and numbs the heart.

Frost looked back on life to see blessing in the road taken. The road less travelled made all the difference because it led to an extraordinary life. Had Frost taken the other path, I suspect he’d have found blessing there, too. Holy ground or hell bound? It takes a certain amount of maturity to know that the road not taken wasn’t a better one. Blessing and sadness are usually in the heart of the beholder – and the feet of the walker.

The Eight Bad Thoughts

Evagrius Ponticus (345-399AD) was a monk, an ascetic, and a writer. In his work, Praktikos, he names eight bad thoughts (logismoi) that tempted monks to abandon the monastic life: gluttony, sexual immorality, love of money, sadness, anger, acedia, vainglory, and pride. (early church texts, earlychurchtexts.com/public. For extensive research, readers may subscribe to this site.) These eight thoughts draw the believer away from a holy life and lead to a diminished awareness of God and self. These thoughts were later adapted and renamed the Seven Deadly Sins.

Peace

 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. John 14:27

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:7

As I write about peace this morning, the wind is driving snow sideways outside my window.

“Look at the birds on the feeder. It’s blowing all over the place and they’re still sitting on it.”

My husband Dave’s words get me over to the window. Outside, wind and snow push at the feeder, making it spin and swing.  Goldfinches and cardinals are hanging onto the slim perches, eating the seeds. Blackbirds are feasting on bread heels and crusts, undaunted by the storm. They are blown off course in their flights from tree and bush to feeder and ground. Still they fly.

“I’m amazed they’re on the feeder; look at it move,” Dave says.

“It’ll hold,” I say.

“Yeah, but they don’t know that.” He’s right, they don’t.

Birds come to eat in storm and in calm. The weather may make the flight an adventure, but it doesn’t stop them. With hearts untroubled, they cling to the perches and eat the seeds.

Do the birds know the feeder will hold? Maybe not, but they aren’t afraid. The weather may be unpredictable, but the supply of food isn’t. The storm can’t take away the food that sustains them.

The peace of God may surpass all understanding, but it reveals itself in feathers right outside my window. Storms may blow me off my path, but I’ll find the perch and the seeds that sustain me. In the Spirit, I know it.  Maybe that’s why peace is a dove.

Love of Money

 Love of money suggests: a long old age; hands powerless to work; hunger and disease yet to come; the bitterness of poverty; and the disgrace of receiving the necessities of life from others. (Evagrius of Pontus, the Praktikos)

Those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains. I Timothy 6:9-10, NRSV

Money keeps away hunger and provides shelter. It puts shoes on our feet and a car in the driveway. It pays for education and health care. When shared, money can build libraries and hospitals, parks and museums. It is necessary for an abundant life, and a means to a better world.

Love of money is money misunderstood and misdirected. Instead of a means to abundance, it is a defense against some imagined future scarcity. Having enough to meet the needs for a blessed life is never sufficient; more and more must be tucked away for future use, more and more things bought to meet every possible need. It can’t be shared in any great amount – what if it’s needed later? No matter how much money there is, it’s never enough to keep at bay “the bitterness of poverty and the disgrace of receiving the necessities of life from others.” The hoarding never ends because the frightened soul can imagine any number of future disasters.

The truth: no amount of money can ward off all pain and disease. Every person will experience loss and grief. Death comes. It is the inevitable void, and it must be faced.

God doesn’t remove the void; God takes it up into an all-encompassing holiness – the truth revealed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Death isn’t the final reality: resurrection is. We fall through the void of death, landing in the arms of God.

Love of money is a root of evil because it promises to weave a carpet out of our funds and fears – a rug big enough to cover the infinite void that threatens to annihilate us. It’s a lie, of course, hiding two sure realities:

1 No matter how big the rug, the chasm is bigger.

2 No matter how big the chasm, resurrected life in God is bigger.

Faithfulness

 Chalk Pond is small and spring fed, with some marshy areas on the edges. There are overhanging trees in some places, wild blueberry bushes in others. Lots of frogs, turtles, and fish live there. Loons and mallards dropped in every so often. During the day, the pond’s water is in constant motion from the breezes that sweep across its surface. It’s small enough for strong swimmers to cross its width and large enough to take a few hours to explore in a canoe.

Just after sunset, Chalk Pond becomes so still that the wake from waterbugs skating on its surface is visible. The pond is so smooth that the night’s stars float on its surface – a living mirror of the heavens.

Faithfulness, a faith full reality, is pond life: sustaining the many lives it touches, fostering its own growth and diversity, and having such peace that the glory of God is revealed upon its face.

Sexual Immorality

 The demon of sexual immorality compels desiring for different bodies.

From the Praktikos, Evagrius of Pontus, 345-399AD

 Ted Hewitt survived the Battle of the Bulge. In the winter of 1945, food was scarce. Ted and the other soldiers depended on C-rations; canned meat and bread with a spread and a dessert may not be a feast, but it was enough. In a war-torn countryside, it was life itself.

The local women came at night. For a can of meat or some bread, they offered their bodies to the soldiers. Many had children to feed. Sex for crackers may not be a fair trade, but it beat starvation. Prostitution was a survival tactic.

Ted didn’t trade food for sex, and he had nothing but scorn for those soldiers who did – participatory pornography, he called it. The soldiers didn’t care about the women, only the pleasure their bodies could provide. The blame and shame landed squarely on the men. He felt they should have known better and been kinder.

It’s hard to make a judgment on such acts from the outside. Most of the soldiers were young and scared, surrounded by killing and dying – not an excuse, but certainly an extenuating circumstance. Compassion and generosity may have been buried under the atrocities of war. Perhaps sex was a way to keep their far worse demons at bay.

The war haunted Ted Hewitt for the rest of his life. In the abuse of hungry women, he saw a demon. How damaged were the souls of the others that they did not?

My Friends,

Life is short, and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us, so be quick to love and make haste to be kind. And may the blessing of the One who made us, and the One who loves us,and the One who travels with us,be with you and those you love this day and always.   Amen.

(From Henri-Frederic Amiel, 1821-1881, found at www.standrewsmhd.org/susans_blessing)

      Rushing makes everything blurry, like riding a merry-go-round at full speed. Life is short, and we do not have too much time to get our work done, so we are quick to move through the store, the commute, and the daily errands. Basic courtesy is all that is expected, and often all that is extended.There will be time for enjoying life later. When is later? If life is short, later is now.

I see the world made new through kindness almost every time I go to my local Dunkin’ Donuts. Dozens of us wait in line to get coffee and muffins from the kind woman behind the counter. We get out of our cars to see her. We ask for her over the drive-thru intercom. She pours the same coffee, bags the same donuts, and charges the same price. She isn’t any faster or slower than her coworkers, yet she hastens to be kind to everyone she serves. In her kindness is the mighty power of the Spirit, given to all of us. A true saint who serves us as we come in and sends us out with a blessing as we go. When I leave with kindness and coffee, I know I’ve been to church. May I make haste to serve with kindness, too.