Category Archives: observation

Sounds Like What It Is

Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 2018

Chomp. Flush. Hoot -Onomatopoetic titles all. Carl Hiaasen’s titles are sound tracks for the stories they front. Full of humor, life in Florida, and the courageous young vanquishing the crooked old, they are quirky tales of hope and working for something larger than personal gain. But the word squirm induces the action in a way that the others don’t.

What makes me squirm isn’t a snake, although snakes play a major part of the plot. It’s not an upcoming test or the high expectations of others. It’s likely to be something I’ve done that’s come to light, something I’d rather others not know – and what I do when confronted with it. It’s hard to sit still, hard to stay put when I’d rather slide out of my chair and sneak out of the room. It’s what I do when I’d rather not admit to my own failing. I squirm when the smallness of my actions breaks through the carefully crafted inflated persona I offer the world. That deflation that reveals my true self makes me squirm.

When I get squirmy in my spiritual life, it’s a sure sign that I’m trying to present a false face to God. Like a child, I do my best to wriggle out of the encounter. But when I stop squirming, when I drop back into my true self, I learn the truth that’s so simple and so hard to keep hold of: that false face, that public persona – it’s too small to contain the image of God which is who I really, truly am.

And it’s too small for who you really, truly are as well.

[This is one in a series. For more information, click Title Search above…]

Asphalt Thinking

Penguin Press, New York, 2023

It’s a famous line from Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi. They paved paradise, put up a parking lot. Behind the title, you’ll find pictures of city streets full of cars and empty of people, stories of murder over parking spaces, and the headaches parking codes create for building lower income housing or repurposing abandoned buildings for inner city housing. I finished Henry Grabar’s book over a year ago and it still haunts me every time I see acres of asphalt surrounding empty malls. I doubt I’d have thought much about it if I hadn’t been captivated by the title.

For most of my adult life, and now, I’ve owned a car – and I’ve lived within walking distance of almost everything I need to live. I’m planning on retiring in such a place as well, making it easier to give up driving when I’m no longer capable of doing it safely. I’ll lose a bit of freedom to remain independent post-driver’s license. I’ll have to plan around train and bus schedules rather than drive whenever it suits me. I’ll need sturdy shoes and outerwear for walking around in inclement weather.

I won’t have as many choices. I’ll have to limit my groceries to what fits in my wheeled cart. I’ll end up waiting at train stations and bus stops, and I’ll have to accept things running behind schedule with as much grace as I can muster. Such a life may not be paradise, but it just might be a dream come true.

[This is one in a series. For more information, click Title Search above.]

Why Do I Have To Read This?

I can’t remember every title on those high school required reading lists, but here are some of the highlights:

Shakespeare – Romeo and Juliet, The Merchant of Venice, Julius Caesar, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, MacBeth, Hamlet, The Taming of the Shrew

East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, The Catcher in the Rye, Ethan Frome, To Kill A Mockingbird, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, The Once and Future King, The Scarlet Letter, All Quiet On the Western Front, Profiles In Courage

There were also poets – not whole books, but select pieces: Choose Something Like a Star, The Red Wheelbarrow, How Do I Love Thee?, Because I Could Not Stop For Death, Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night, For Whom the Bell Tolls(No Man Is an Island), The Raven

And there were excerpts: The Grand Inquisitor (The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky), The Allegory of the Cave (Plato’s Republic), the Bible, Aesop’s Fables, Grimm’s Fairy Tales

For almost every book assigned, someone in my class asked the teacher why it was required. Most answered with a perfunctory It’s good for you, and you’ll need to know it when you go to college. Only two of my teachers gave different answers.

Because through these words you will come to understand what it means to be human. (Mr. Quimby)

These books will help you ask the truly important questions. (Mr. Hewitt)

The first answer was an honest one, and a small one. Wasn’t anything valuable about the reading other than some future benefit exclusively for the college bound learners? Shouldn’t learning be about something bigger than this?

The other two answers left some breathing room; they included and were big enough for every student -in the present. To be drawn into the story of someone else’s life, to experience another way to be human, to ask the big questions: the right words can do this.

So can the right teachers…

Recess

It was the fifteen minutes around 10am. The bell rang and everyone headed outside. Sometimes, it was to a playground with swings and slides; other times, it was just cement with a four square court and a couple of red rubber balls. Unless it was raining or really cold, everyone left classrooms and books behind to get some fresh air and run off some excess energy. When the bell rang, everyone went back inside to their desks and the next subject.

Recess is good for many reasons. Children can concentrate better if they get a break in the learning to move around and rest their minds between subjects. There are fewer disciplinary problems because recess lowers frustration. Having time to talk with friends means fewer side conversations during class time. Because it doesn’t produce quantifiable results, its value is noticed more in its absence. And it is noticed.

Taking a break, going outside for some fresh air and a quick walk, having a conversation – a few minutes away from whatever we consider our important work may not result in more pages written, more spreadsheets filled, or additional organizing accomplished. But it’s silly to think that recess isn’t just as valuable for us after our school years as it was during them.

It’s good for the soul to take a break, to look up and out at this big, beautiful world and marvel at the life around us and within us. Grow into the wisdom of childhood: get outside and reclaim recess.

Three Tickets, One Lunch

It was common practice, although it isn’t any longer: handing out three different colored lunch tickets. The red ones were for children who paid full price for lunch; the blue ones were for children who paid a reduced price for their meal; the green ones were for the children who got their lunches for free. It was an easy way to count up how many of each were purchased every day. It made it easier to know the percentage of students who were in each category, and to report the numbers to the federal agency in charge of funding free lunch programs. But revealing for all to see who could pay full price for lunch and who could not was a daily exercise in cruelty. Humiliation was portioned out just as surely as the whipped potatoes and carton of milk. As they got into the upper grades, many students skipped lunch altogether, preferring hunger over embarrassment.

One of the blessings of the digital age is that every child does the exact same thing at lunch: they punch in their student ID number, they grab a tray, and they pick up their lunch. No one knows who receives assistance and who doesn’t (in my sons’ elementary school, food assistance forms had to be filled out for each child, whether they needed the help or not. Everyone handed in the forms, no exceptions and no embarrassment.). It may not be as flashy as multiplying loaves and fishes, but it’s a miracle of hospitality and generosity all the same.

Taking Attendance

I never thought about it much – what I said every school day morning when the teacher took attendance.

Here.

I am here. I exist in this time and place. This unrepeatable day brought me here, of all places. In this space, with these people.

Here.

This is where I live and breathe.

Here.

To be fully in the present moment. To be called by name. If I’m at all aware, then this is a sacred moment.

But that’s a big if…

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me – I am too often unaware.

Drawn to Scale

Compass, Ruler, Protractor – required school supplies that are rarely used after graduation. Unless, of course, you are an artist, architect, builder, woodworker, or crafter. These help you draw a good circle, a straight line between two points, and figure out the degree of an angle. With the right notation, a plan drawn on paper – landscape, building, airplane, boat – can be made three dimensional. All that’s needed is the scale.

That’s the thing, though: the scale. What we sketch out in our lives, if not kept in scale, can end up in laughter, a lesson learned, or disaster. Proportion is important. Whether or not we ever use these instruments after graduation…

School Clothes

At the beginning of August, we made the annual trip to Sears, Montgomery Ward, and Porteous Mitchell to pick out clothes and shoes. What we couldn’t find in stores, we found in the pages of the Sears catalog. Just about everyone we know did the same, although the choice of stores might vary. Most everyone got at least one new outfit and a new pair of shoes for the first day of school; after that would come the outgrown hand-me-downs from older siblings. That new outfit heralded the new school year just as much as a new home room and a new grade level.

School shopping is still alive and well; the local Target is full of families preparing for the upcoming year. So is the local LLBean – backpacks and water bottles. But a new outfit for the first day of school isn’t as big a deal – people buy new clothes throughout the year and in larger quantities than in the ’60’s and ’70’s.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing that a new school outfit is no longer a must-have. It must have been an awful way to begin the year for the children who didn’t have them, and heart-breaking for the parents who couldn’t provide them. That doesn’t mean there aren’t judgements made about clothes: now, it’s the designer label rather than the newness that matters. No matter the era, some way of separating those with more than enough from those with enough from those with not enough is in place.

Years ago, when talking with a guest about living into higher levels of compassion and spirituality, Oprah Winfrey remarked that she liked to visit those upper levels of spirituality for tea, but would choose to live on a lower level – because the wardrobe was better there, and she didn’t want to give that up. It got a laugh, of course, but a slightly uncomfortable one.

The first day outfit in elementary school, the team or work uniform, the gowns worn to mark advanced degrees earned, the stoles to mark ordination; all are outward signs of intellectual accomplishment or requirements fulfilled. Is it when we no longer need these, when we put these aside, that we walk through the doors of the house of wisdom and love, comfortable in our own skin and ready to learn?

Back To School

It’s August 19th. Labor Day is almost three weeks off. But the yellow school buses are out and about: several of the local schools are back in session, with several more welcoming learners next week.

I haven’t darkened the door of a classroom, at least as a student, for a long time. But I’ve spent most of my adult life telling stories and leading classes of one sort or another. It might be fun go back to school – to look at the reading, writing, and (a)rithmetic once again. As well as all the other things…art, music, drama, languages, etc…

Hit the Books

The Weekly Cliche

I see them in front of auto repair shops and diners; I see them on front lawns; mostly, I see them in front of churches: the pithy, simplistic, often pietistic messages.

Jesus lets you do what you want to, but your want-to has to change…

Smile! God loves you!

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care…

Every time I see one, I wonder who selected the saying, who changes it each week, and what the keeper of the sign hopes to accomplish.

Rarely is one of these signs saying something original or truly thought-provoking. It has to be short enough for someone to see it, read it, and make sense of it in the few seconds it takes for a car to drive past it.

Perhaps it’s too much to expect profundity on a roadside message board. Maybe engaging my mind on a deep level isn’t the point or the purpose. With all the anxiety, with all the inner darkness and turmoil people drive around with every day, maybe a quick note of positivity is a flash of light. Maybe drivers-by will see in these signs what they need to see – a lifeline from someone or someplace that cares.

Help can come from anywhere, even from a sign. If I took the time, I’ll bet I’d find something to take with me, something to ponder, in these signs. The fact that I don’t might say more about me than the signs and their keepers…