Category Archives: Education

Prayer for Acceptance of God’s Will: Line Four

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Help me to see my real needs, which are concealed from me.

 When my son Jared was a baby, he went to sleep easily and happily. The only exception was when he was extremely tired. Past a certain point, tiredness shifted to fussiness and restlessness. What he most needed – rest – became the last thing he wanted. His nighttime routine of bath, snack, and book brought frustration rather than peace. He wanted something else, but couldn’t say what that something else might be.

On those nights, I’d take him outside for a walk around the barn. He’d say goodnight to the horses and look in on the roosting chickens. We’d walk down the gravel drive to see what the road looked like at night and we’d look at the lights of the house across the way. Sometimes, he’d pick up the tiny striped acorns of the pin oaks that lined the drive. Then I’d pick him up and take him home, fast asleep before I put him in his crib. After a good night’s sleep, Jared was himself again. Happy.

If I go past a certain point, my spiritual, physical, and emotional tiredness bring frustration and discontent. I refuse things and activities that restore me, and I can’t see anything new that might help. So I go in one direction and then another, trying to grasp the needs that hold me captive. But I can’t see them and I can’t think of where else to look. I just want to give up and cry. That’s when God holds my hand and takes me for a walk. I see my world by starlight and see others resting peacefully. Stones crunch beneath my feet and a neighbor’s lights illuminate where I stand. The seeds of mighty trees surround me, and the mystery of the world welcomes me. Most of the time, I’m at rest before I make it back home, trusting the Spirit to carry me. When I wake up, the world is new and so am I.

I’d better be careful what I pray for: If God shows me what I really need, I’ll know what is necessary and what isn’t. I won’t exhaust myself chasing things that cannot sustain life. A focus on real needs rather than popular wants won’t bring social status or vast wealth. But does bring light in darkness, companionship along the way, a vision of new life in a nutshell, and the world made new every day.

Whence cometh my help? From God alone who knows my needs.

 

Prayer for Acceptance of God’s Will:Line Two

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Thou alone knowest what are my true needs.

 One of my friends has a home organization program on her computer. It helps keep bills in order, reminds her of special dates, and has several cleaning schedules designed to keep her home in good shape. The feature she likes best is the grocery list – just enter the things in your cupboard and fridge and it creates a permanent list. Rather than creating a new list every week, she just checks the items on the list as she uses them. No more wondering about what’s in the cupboard, no more ending up with five boxes of pasta and no tortillas. There’s even a section for special items, the once-a-year or just-giving-it-a-try oddities that come as cupboard guests but don’t stay long. Grocery shopping without the guesswork, requiring less time and thought while guaranteeing a well stocked pantry.

There are grocery program equivalents for faith life, listing the usual staples: Bible reading, prayer, daily devotional exercises, and directions for seasonal practices. They provide a solid structure, requiring only adherence to the proscribed schedule. When the Bible book has been read, put a check on the list and pick up another. During Lent, take the Alleluias out of the liturgy. History, theology, spiritual practice, and Bible studies of good quality available in a convenient list. Prayerfully eaten, they help foster and sustain faith.

The lists we create for ourselves and others are well-meaning conjectures, things that have worked in times and for peoples past. These are effective only with the opposite approach than that of the grocery program: they are a doorway to more time and intention, not a convenience that excuses me from them. And the deepest truth: they require God’s living presence. While I may know what’s missing from my cupboards, I can’t see what’s missing in my heart and soul. God alone has that vision. If I don’t realize this, I could spend my life shopping for things that will never nourish.

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will: Line One

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Oh Lord, I know not what to ask of thee.

      One life’s ironies: the times when I need God’s help and guidance most are when I don’t know how to ask for them. “I know not what to ask” doesn’t mean I have no specific outcome in mind: it’s the recognition that another outcome may very well be holier than the one I’m requesting.

 

O Lord, I know not what to ask of thee. Thou alone knowest what are my true needs. Thou lovest me more than I myself know how to love. Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me. I dare not ask either a cross or consolation. I can only wait on thee. My heart is open to thee. Visit and help me, for thy great mercy’s sake. Strike me and heal me, cast me down and raise me up. I worship in silence thy holy will and thine inscrutable ways. I offer myself as a sacrifice to thee. I put all my trust in thee. I have no other desire than to fulfil thy will. Teach me how to pray. Pray thou thyself in me.   Amen. (From A Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers, Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1991, p.24)

About the Author of this prayer:

Metropolitan Philaret was the son of a Russian Orthodox priest who became a priest himself. He taught at St. Petersburg Theological Academy, and eventually became the Metropolitan of Moscow – a ranking somewhere between archbishop and patriarch. Not quite on par with the pope, but awfully close. He worked for offering scripture and other teachings in Russian so more people could read them. He wrote a catechism that is still in use. I suspect Philaret was a very busy man who had his share of difficulties.

Self Control

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The Eight Bad Thoughts

Evagrius Ponticus (345-399AD) was a monk, an ascetic, and a writer. In his work, Praktikos, he names eight bad thoughts (logismoi) that tempted monks to abandon the monastic life: gluttony, sexual immorality, love of money, sadness, anger, acedia, vainglory, and pride. (early church texts, earlychurchtexts.com/public. For extensive research, readers may subscribe to this site.) These eight thoughts draw the believer away from a holy life and lead to a diminished awareness of God and self. These thoughts were later adapted and renamed the Seven Deadly Sins.

The fruit of the Spirit

By contrast, the action of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

For the next few weeks, I will reflect on Evagrius’ Eight Bad Thoughts and Paul’s list of the action (karpos) of the Spirit. Karpos is usually translated as fruit, but the intent is more active than a still life subject. The word can also be translated as result, outcome, deed, gain, grain, and advantage.

Self Control

Giving up favorite vices, committing to good causes and practices – self control has to be the stick most of us choose during Lent…

In the 1960’s and 70’s, Stanford professor Walter Mischel and others ran the Marshmallow experiment, a study of deferred gratification (see  “Predicting Cognitive Control From Preschool to Late Adolescence and Young Adulthood”. Psychological Science 17 (6): 478–484. Archived from the original on June 22, 2007. See also Maia Szalavitz, “The Secrets of Self-Control: The Marshmallow Test 40 Years Later,” Time Magazine, September 6, 2011, online). Young children were offered a small treat – a marshmallow, cookie, etc. The experiment leader told the children that they could eat the treat right away, or get another treat if they didn’t eat the treat until the leader left and returned, about fifteen minutes later. The gist of the study: young children who could delay gratification and earn the second marshmallow were less likely to struggle with behavioral issues, drug addiction, or obesity in their teen years. Also, their SAT scores were significantly higher than those who couldn’t wait.

As these children became adults, the picture isn’t quite as clear. Some gained the ability to defer gratification, others didn’t. As an indicator of overall life success, the marshmallow experiment isn’t definitive: good news for the ones who couldn’t wait. Reality turns out to be written in water rather than stone.

Delaying gratification, giving up an immediate reward for a bigger one, is taking a longer view. The marshmallow in hand doubles its value when it’s saved rather than consumed. It’s a valuable life skill, but not what Paul was writing about.

Self control as an action or gain of the Spirit isn’t about marshmallows or whatever our equivalent temptation might be. Self control grows when we know that we don’t really want marshmallows: we want communion with God. If eating a marshmallow right away reveals God’s presence with us, eat it. If waiting for another marshmallow draws us to God, don’t eat it. The chief end of human life isn’t the acquisition or consumption of marshmallows.

Self control breaks the stranglehold that an external temptation has on us, moving us to seek God in all things and through all things. With enough practice, self control teaches us a great lesson: without God, there will never be enough marshmallows to satisfy us. With God, whatever marshmallows we have are more than enough – we might even learn to give ours away. After all, who needs to hoard marshmallows when we are seated at the heavenly banquet?

 

 

Choosing the Stick: Lent 2014

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Choosing the Stick

My friend Linda MacDonald lived across the street from me when we were seven years old. She had four sisters, all of them daring and adventurous. And they were stubborn, which resulted in frequent fighting. When battles moved from nasty looks and ugly faces to kicking and hitting, one of the parents would step in to separate the main combatants. If the fight continued, the word came down: you’ve earned a beating. Then the offenders were sent outside to choose the stick they would be beaten with.

Linda usually chose the smallest stick she could find, sometimes no bigger than a pine needle. Her sister Brenda went for a big, rotten one – hard to lift and falling apart with the least movement. Cindy refused to choose most times; she just sat on the back steps weeping and gnashing her teeth. The older sisters just strolled around the yard the whole time with a peace which surpassed my understanding.

Choosing the stick we get beaten with is how many of us experience Lent. Subtracting chocolate or swearing, adding daily exercise and volunteer hours – sticks come in many sizes and shapes. For the fights we started with others and the many ways we have misbehaved, we find ourselves in the yard picking up sticks. Let the punishment fit the crime.

So what happened to the MacDonalds after they chose a stick? Nothing. There was no beating. The real purpose of choosing a stick: time to calm down and stop the hurtful fighting. Ironic, really – choosing a stick didn’t lead to a beating, it ended one. The older sisters had already figured that out and spent the time in peace. I wasn’t around to see the younger ones catch on, but I’m sure they did.

If I’m spending Lent choosing a stick, perhaps even going further and beating myself with it, I’m missing the point. Lent is the time to stop the everyday beatings. Whatever faithful practices I choose to add or harmful vices I subtract are just what gets me into the yard – a place to disengage from aggression and engage in peace. Once I figure that out, yard time is a joy; until I do, it feels a lot like picking out a stick.

The Eight Bad Thoughts and the Fruits of the Spirit will be the focus of my Lenten meditations, leading into Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection. Something to keep in mind: human violence put Jesus on the cross, not God. No beating from God awaits, just the chance to stop fighting with our siblings.