Two things I ask of you; do not deny them to me before I die:

Remove far from me falsehood and lying;

Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that I need, or I shall be full, and deny you, and say, “Who is the Lord,” or I shall be poor, and steal, and profane the name of my God. Proverbs 30:7-9, NRSV

It’s so tempting to embellish, fail to correct a false assumption, or misrepresent myself. It’s not often over something important, just a few little adjustments here and there to the real and the true. Is this life I’ve been given not enough? Of course it’s enough. Then why the temptation to lie?

Am I wise enough to ask God for a life that brings my daily bread – enough resources to sustain and nourish but not enough to waste? Maybe, maybe not.

Years ago, I found this in a bookstore in Newburyport. It’s been hanging in my kitchen ever since. I suspect the proverbial request is a plea to God to be on the good side of this sentiment…

Oppressing the poor in order to enrich oneself, and giving to the rich, will lead only to loss. Proverbs 22:16

It happens in every time and place, this making the rich even richer at the expense of those who can least afford it. It’s happening right here and right now, in our time and place. The rich get richer while the poor stay poor. This refusal of generosity, of the bare minimum required to live a good life, is what spurs revolution. Sadly, most revolutions only change the roles – people on top end up on the bottom, and a few end up in their place. The system stays the same.

So what is this loss, what do the oppressors lose? Financially, not much. Social position, not necessarily. On the individual level, at least on the surface, no loss. And the surface is usually the only level we give more than a glance.

But look again. On the communal level, robbing those who can least afford it to give more to the ones who don’t need it (and may not even notice it) drains away the very life of all involved. Such unfairness fractures the bonds that connect individuals to each other, the bonds that create community. It’s loss, sometimes unto societal death.

There’s also a spiritual cost. Harming the defenseless for personal gain leaves its mark, invisible to the eye but there in the heart and soul. It surfaces in the sleepless nights spent worrying that what was taken from another will be taken by another. It’s never being able to trust another’s word – because what goes around comes around. More than anything else, the loss is in the sure knowledge that no amount of money can buy a minute of time. A life was wasted robbing others for gain when it could have been spent seeking beauty, love, and holiness.

To watch over mouth and tongue is to keep out of trouble. Proverbs 21:23, NRSV

I can’t say I noticed it until now how often it comes up in Proverbs – this ongoing admonition to watch what I say. All these warnings to watch what I say point to a very big truth: the words I choose and the tone of voice I use matter because I can’t take them back once I’ve released them into the world. I can apologize for harsh words hastily spoken, but I can’t unsay them. What I say holds something true about who I am and how I feel about another person – at least in a particular moment in time.

I keep myself out of trouble when I watch my mouth, but I’m not the only one. By refusing to strike out at others verbally, I save them a troubling of spirit – not a physical cut or bruise, but a blow just the same. Minding my words is also following a wise and ancient commandment: first, do no harm.

Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. Prov.16:31, NRSV

Gray hair may have been a crown of glory in bygone times, but today it’s something to cover up. It’s an indication of aging, and aging in this youth-obsessed culture is something to avoid at great if not all cost. Along with covering the gray on our heads, we can smooth out lines and wrinkles with botox or surgery. When exercise isn’t enough to combat gravity’s pull on the body, we can get a flat tummy through liposuction. We can fill in the places age hollows out. If we can’t turn back the clock, staying thirty-something forever, modern medicine offers the appearance of non-aging.

I can understand why people take steps to look younger. Older people are considered less valuable, their opinions and ideas discounted rather than appreciated. Experience is valuable to a point, but a drawback when the years add up beyond a certain number. No matter how righteous a life, getting on in years makes us less valuable in this image driven society.

So how do we age gracefully in a time when aging is a social negative? We do those things that honor our aging bodies, minds, and hearts rather than trying to outwit the aging process. There are as many ways to do that as there are people. Keep the gray or color it away, whichever honors our current ages and stages. We are beloved children of God, unique in this universe. Let’s live fully into whatever time brings.

Better is a dinner of vegetables where love is than a fatted ox and hatred with it. Proverbs 15:17, NRSV

There’s nothing like the gathering of friends over a meal. That feeling of well-being as food and drink are shared – along with stories and laughter. What’s on the plate doesn’t have to be fancy, just offered and accepted with gratitude and grace. It doesn’t even have to be a full meal; some cheese and crackers, an apple slice or two – what counts is the hospitality that comes with it.

It doesn’t have to be hatred. It can be anger, a fight not resolved before the guests arrived, the look of distaste or disgust; any of these makes for a miserable time that not even the finest cuisine can fix. When hospitality and care aren’t at the table, what’s on the plate really doesn’t matter. It’s a long night, and not a good one, when love is absent.

When we come together for a meal, what we really want is food for the soul as well as the body.

Those who are kind reward themselves, but the cruel do themselves harm. Proverbs 11:17, NRSV

Our inner and outer worlds are connected in various ways, and what we do in one affects the other. When we tend to our own inner lives, we don’t project our own faults and fears on others; this makes it so much easier to appreciate them, and a lot less likely that we will do them harm. When we tend to our outer relationships, we learn to accept the love of others; in that, we just might know ourselves as lovable.

An act of kindness toward another shines its blessing on our inner world; an act of cruelty toward another throws its shadow over who we are in our innermost selves. Whether we lighten the burdens of others or add to their misery, we cannot escape the truth that we do the same to ourselves simultaneously…