Monthly Archives: June 2025

It’s Own Reward

Leave a reply

Those who are kind reward themselves, but the cruel do themselves harm. Proverbs 11:17, NRSV

Our inner and outer worlds are connected in various ways, and what we do in one affects the other. When we tend to our own inner lives, we don’t project our own faults and fears on others; this makes it so much easier to appreciate them, and a lot less likely that we will do them harm. When we tend to our outer relationships, we learn to accept the love of others; in that, we just might know ourselves as lovable.

An act of kindness toward another shines its blessing on our inner world; an act of cruelty toward another throws its shadow over who we are in our innermost selves. Whether we lighten the burdens of others or add to their misery, we cannot escape the truth that we do the same to ourselves simultaneously…

If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

Leave a reply

Whoever belittles another lacks sense, but an intelligent person remains silent. Proverbs 11:12

More than once, my first opinion of someone turned out to be wrong. Because my parents and grandparents advised keeping silent rather than saying negative things to or about others, I had the chance to get beyond my first impressions. Several times, wonderful friendships grew out of these less than positive first encounters – loose lips didn’t sink friendships.

I wonder: how often has someone else kept silent when I made a less than stellar first impression? Just as my life has been blessed by my keeping silent, I’d bet my life has been blessed by others keeping silent about their initial impression of me. It’s grace I’ll never be able to quantify, but no less precious because it remains unrecognized and uncounted.

Watch Your Language

Leave a reply

Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. Proverbs 4:24

There are six things that the Lord hates…haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that hurry to run to evil, a lying witness who testifies falsely, and one who sows discord in a family. Proverbs 6:16-19

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Proverbs 10:11

It’s not the occasional swear word I worry about these days: it’s using words as weapons to harm those with different ideas, faiths, skin tones, and lovers. It’s the exaggeration and the lies designed to provoke. It’s the verbal violence aimed toward others that encourages and condones the move from reckless rhetoric to harmful physical action.

It’s tempting to answer angry and violent rhetoric with more of the same, to meet fire with fire, to win the day by yelling cruel words at those who yell at me. But ratcheting up the bitterness and anger won’t solve whatever the original issue was. It just divides neighbor from neighbor.

The damage hateful and violent speech creates is plain to see. It’s hard to take a moment, to stop the harmful words before they make it into print or speech. But it isn’t impossible. I don’t have to keep the cycle going. I can choose to hold my tongue until my thoughts and words show respect rather than disregard.

I’ve said the same prayer every morning when I awake for over a decade, written by Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow in the nineteenth century. It has been especially helpful for me – I hope it will be for you as well:

Prayer at the Beginning of the Day

O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely upon thy holy will. In every hour of the day, reveal thy will to me. Bless my dealings with all who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day with peace of soul, and with firm conviction that thy will governs all. In all my deeds and words guide my thoughts and feelings. In unforeseen events let me not forget that all are sent by thee. Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering and embarrassing others. Give me strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day and all that it shall bring. Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray thou thyself in me. Amen.

[A Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers, Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1991, p.20]

This is one in a series on Proverbs. For more information, click Proverbs above…

Money, Money, Money

2 Replies

If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood; let us wantonly ambush the innocent; like Sheol let us swallow them alive and whole, like those who go down to the Pit. We shall find all kinds of costly things; we shall fill our houses with booty.

Throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse” – my child, do not walk in their way, and keep your foot from their paths; for their feet run to evil, and they hurry to shed blood. For in vain is the net baited while the bird is looking on; yet they lie in wait – to kill themselves! and set an ambush – for their own lives! Such is the end of all who are greedy for gain; it takes away the life of its possessors. Proverbs 1:11-19

If we are willing to get rich at the expense of others, we value material gain over their very lives. Others become a means to our own financial ends, and we don’t bother to count the cost they bear – raided IRA’s, stolen identities, grossly underpaid labor. What do we care, as long as we get the life of luxury we want?

But there’s a high cost for such things. When we delude ourselves into thinking we can put a price (and a low one, at that) on the well-being of others, we cannot help but put a price on our own lives. The more our ill-gotten estate is worth, the lower our own value. Who we are becomes what we have taken from others, and we are diminished by the very gains we expected to elevate us. The free ride we steal may remain free, but its destination takes a heavy toll.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains. I Timothy 6:10, NRSV

The Good Life

1 Reply

In the proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

For Learning about wisdom and instruction, for understanding words of insight, for gaining instruction in wise dealing, righteousness, justice, and equity;

to teach shrewdness to the simple, knowledge and prudence to the young–

Let the wise also hear and gain in learning, and the discerning acquire skill,

to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles.

The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 1:1-7, NRSV

Call it a beginner’s mind, a cognitive flexibility, a sense of proportion and justice. It isn’t about the accumulation of information or how rapidly and effectively such information can be processed and applied: it’s about what we know and how we know. It brings good things to the world we live in. It’s finding our footing on solid ground: we are God’s beloved creatures in this cosmos – and so are our neighbors, human or other. Wisdom is always keeping our feet firmly planted in that reality in our daily lives.

Proverbs is a collection of notes on what the good life is and how we can live it every day. It’s a collection of short pieces of advice and the praise of those who seek wisdom rather than material gain or fame for their own sake. It’s a primer in ethics, a doorway to living a worthy life. It’s our summer adventure.

And so we begin at the beginning, because all the advice that follows cannot be understood or put into true practice if we forget who we are: fragile, mortal, limited beings created by a God whose sheer presence and power would destroy us except for one precious truth – we are irrevocable and unimaginably loved. Or, in more biblical words:

The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Quick note: Fear of the Lord isn’t fear of punishment or being ashamed of ourselves; fear of the Lord is the recognition that God has created us and all things. It’s awe that moves us to life and love, not terror that scares us to death and destruction…

This is one in a series. For more information, click “Proverbial” above.

Written in Friendly Letters…

Leave a reply
Hitchhiker’s Guide Socks

They are a Mother’s Day present from my younger son, and a reference to one of my favorite books. It’s what’s written on the front of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – and advice for all intergalactic travelers. Don’t Panic.

With all the hype in the world, all the noise, it seems like things are conspiring to make us panic. Things move too quickly, the rhetoric abrasive to the point of antagonism, and painting anyone who isn’t a known quantity as an enemy rather than as a companion on this journey through life.

Standing on this advice just might help me take a step back, take a breath, and pause long enough to remember that every single person I meet is God’s own beloved. If I pause rather than panic, perhaps others will do the same. And that could change everything…