Category Archives: Meditation

Word Change

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Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.

It is right to give (him/God/our) thanks and praise.

What we say depends on the church we are in. Some churches stick with the original him – either for reasons of tradition or for the comfort of the worshipers.

In other churches, the original him has been altered to a gender neutral God. God isn’t male or female, or God is both male and female, so using a proper noun instead of a gendered pronoun is one way of reflecting this truth. Another might be to alternate between saying him and her.

In still other congregations, the direct object of our thanks and praise disappears, replaced by an our to describe the thanks and praise. A genderless plural adjective reflects the worshipers; God as the object of our thanks and praise is implied from the sentence above.

The word change is important, but I don’t think it’s the heart of the exchange. For me, it’s the call to thank God and praise God every minute, every day, every week. There are no exceptions. It is right to thank God and praise God, regardless of our particular circumstances on any given day.

There’s a theological idea that says humanity’s special place in creation has nothing to do with our geographical or temporal location in the last few seconds of a billions of years old creation process. As self conscious and articulate creatures, it is our responsibility and privilege to be the universe’s self-awareness. We are the universe knowing itself as a beloved creation. There is no other response to this self-knowledge than humility; there is no other response to the God who created everything than praise and thanks.

For such a truth, perhaps It is right to give God our thanks and praise would be best…

Uplifting

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Lift up your hearts.

We lift them to the Lord.

At any graduation, baptism, sporting event, or concert you are likely to see them: parents lifting their children over their heads or onto their shoulders. Without a higher perch, most children would see only a collection of legs, wallets, belts, and shoes. There’s no way for them to see over the crowds without a willing, caring adult giving them a lift. The littlest and youngest of us would never see the diplomas handed out, the singer or actor, winning shot or the newly baptized baby without moving to a higher location.

I think the same is true with prayers and worship. If someone doesn’t remind me to lift up my heart, I doubt I’d ever see past the forest of liturgical words to catch sight of Jesus.

With You

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The Lord be with you.

And also with you.

They can be found earlier in the order of service as well, these back and forth words of blessing. The Lord be with you, says the worship leader. And also with you, says everyone else. On many Sundays, in many churches, they are rushed through, as if there isn’t enough time for giving and receiving blessings. In some places, the leader speaks them in a slow, dull, monotone; the congregation barely mumbles the response, as if somehow their part isn’t particularly necessary or welcome. They are words thrown away, as if they have outlived their usefulness or might be an embarrassment to everyone involved in their exchange. How important can these words be if they are read every week, and if anyone can say them?

The Lord be with you. Someone is praying that God will accompany me wherever I go. Every week, asking for the grace of God to be with me, present to me. I may know the person asking this favor, I may not. If I wander into a random church on almost any given Sunday, some complete stranger will pray for Holy God to walk with me. In these words, I am wished a blessed life, a brush with the sacred in every moment I breathe. The same is true for you. Whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you go: The Lord be with you. Walk in holiness and peace. Know that God holds you fast. You are not alone.

It’s a terrible thing, throwing away such a profound request. And it goes both ways. When I say the response without thought or intention, I’m missing out on a sacred truth: My prayer for God to be with another is a bold and holy request. The least I can do is say them like I mean them: And also with you.

How else will I live like I mean them?

(for complete prayer, click “PrayerC” above)

 

 

Everything Old is New (Again)

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The thing that has been is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: there is no new thing under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9

This is the time of year to clean out the basement, swap the winter wardrobe for summer duds, and get the yard and garden beds set for summer. It’s also the last few weeks of the school year and the return of summer jobs, weekend traffic, and lots of Cape Cod tourists. All these things happen every year, and they’ve been happening around me for decades. The Teacher was right when he wrote there is no new thing under the sun. He was also terribly wrong.

There are seasons and patterns that structure my world. These are reliable, a renewable and dependable foundation that holds my days as I walk this earth. At the same time, it is impossible to repeat anything because everything is in constant motion – planets spin, galaxies are born and die, every living thing moves in one temporal direction. I get second chances to love, to serve, to seek joy or wallow in pain; I cannot go back in time to change decisions and actions. Renewal, transformation, continuation – each surfaces in the unique instances that move from my present into my memory. If I am humble and quiet, I see the grace of each day and give thanks; if I am distracted and forgetful, I can’t see beyond my own immediate wants and needs.

But those thoughts aren’t really that important today. Returning books to the library, I saw a newborn in his mother’s arms. The sage in the corner garden is covered with more buds than I’ve ever seen. My son and I saw seagulls hovering in front of us – a miracle of aviation for the price of some stale bread.

I am so glad that there is no new thing under the sun – there’s so much wonder already.

I’m so glad that everything is happening for the first and only time – today is a once in a lifetime experience.

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Thank you for the world so sweet, Lord. Amen

Photo by Jared Fredrickson

Weighted

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Weight is taking up a lot more space in my mind than usual. I bought a kitchen scale last month because weighing baking ingredients is more accurate than measuring them with cups and teaspoons. My doctor’s scale found a few extra pounds on me, so I’ll be more careful about how much I eat until they are gone. Helping my son’s college friend move reminded me that box size isn’t as important as what’s inside. When I write, and when I speak as a teacher or tutor, I weigh my words carefully. Weight matters.

Heavy. Light. Evenly distributed. Out of balance. Over. Under. Feather and paper: these mean something specific when they refer to weight. And weight means something for me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Since the weight of things is on my mind, I’m trying something new. I am going measure it all with a spiritual scale.

My physical weight determines whether I feel comfortable in my clothes and it affects how my body works. Spiritually, it tells me that I need to be more mindful of how I care for my soul’s home in this world.

What weighs on my mind is usually is something I choose, and definitely something I can change. Am I spending too much time preoccupied with matters of little weight? Am I giving more time and energy to what makes me world weary, or what carries true meaning? Centering prayer is a good way of lightening and rebalancing my mental content.

I think weighing my emotional baggage on a spiritual scale is a good way to let go of whatever is useless or harmful. Resentment is a burden that adds nothing to me or the larger world. Anger, jealousy, envy – such vices are so heavy to carry.

I want to walk lightly through this adventure that is my life. Every so often, that means dropping some weight…

Tipping the Scales

Birthday Renewal

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I went to a friend’s birthday dinner party a few days ago – a surprise event for her, and a wonderful time for us to relax over wine and good food. I can’t say how many times I’ve been to her home, or how many times she’s been to mine; it’s almost fifteen year’s worth of birthday cakes, New Year’s Eve toasts, Halloween treats, and casual coffees. But it struck me that this birthday wasn’t just another in a long line of celebrations. The world has changed a great deal since I first saw her blow out the candles…

Then:

-her children were preschool and elementary learners; I had one in preschool and one in diapers.

-she lived just down the street from me in a turn of the century Victorian.

-both of her parents were alive and well, as were mine.

-holidays and vacations brought the whole family together.

 

In 2017:

-two of her children are in college, one already beyond it; I have a college freshman and a high school freshman.

-she now lives at the beach a few miles out of town.

-both her parents have died, as has my father.

-it’s nearly impossible to get the whole family together.

 

We are beyond the intensive child raising years. We don’t have weekends full of recitals and sporting events, and we can enjoy a glass of wine at the end of the work day. The world has changed, and our place in it has changed. It’s a renewal of who we are, a different role that brings an appreciation for all the blessings we have lived into and grown out of. It’s also a letting go of who we have been.

I don’t think these changes are about loss as much as about renewal. This isn’t the same as rewind, for no life goes backward. But it is about the grace that unfolds as my friends and I step aside to let our children take on adult roles and responsibilities, and step into whatever the future holds.

What will this renewal mean for me and my friend? I can’t really say, but if the past is any indication it will be full of grace. It’s a new world – a birthday of a different sort, but definitely worth a cake and candles.

 

Continuing and New

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In an average church, on a run-of-the-mill rainy yesterday, something routine and new happened. I joined sixty others in a confirmation service, promising to guide and support five teens in their newly claimed adult faith. And those five teens promised to guide and support me in mine. I’m sure hundreds of confirmation services were held yesterday, and in each something new came into being. Services like this reveal a holy truth: All the ordinary people who sit in the pews and the ordinary ones who don’t will be transformed and renewed by the holy, ordinary lives of these five teens.

These five teens will soon realize (if they don’t already) that the true spiritual guides aren’t necessarily the ones with the highest education, the paid ministry, or the most volunteer hours. Some are in their church and some have never set foot in any church. They might be hard to spot. Just as true: many adults may miss seeing in them the holy prophets and spiritual guides because they still walk high school corridors. But I know and I trust that these five young people can and will wake up each day with the ability and opportunity to hallow this world of mine. And because it’s true for them, it’s also and always true for me and every other soul.

The earth was renewed yesterday, the earth is renewed today. The continuing advent of unique renewal is alive and well.

Enter or Shelve?

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It’s a little over a week since Easter – the empty tomb, miraculous appearances, and disbelief transformed into abiding faith. Even Thomas finds his faith after touching the risen Jesus.

My faith starts in a stable, wades in the Jordan, hangs on a cross, and arrives by way of an empty tomb. Year after year, the same journey; every three years, even the same Bible passages. Why do I keep with it?

I don’t think faith can be solved, figured out, or understood enough to box up and store like off season clothes on a dusty closet shelf. It’s not a puzzle to solve or a formula to memorize. It’s not really an “it” at all, as far as I can tell. I can’t hold it in my hand or even see its edges because it holds me. I am living in it, held by it, defined by it. The seasons and scriptures aren’t pieces of a faith puzzle: they are what draws me into God’s embrace. There is no end to where they can take me in this Gospel world.

Faith is entering this God given world and knowing I belong here. Many and varied are the ways for me to find it. I just have to remember I seek to enter a holy world. It’s only when I try to make myself bigger than God’s world that my faith shrinks to something easily shelved with next winter’s clothes…

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What will I do with it?

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A few years back, an acquaintance of mine dropped her kids at a friend’s house and hit the local bar. After a few hours and way too many drinks, she jumped behind the wheel of her SUV. Going way too fast, she drove straight into a huge oak tree. With no seat belt on, the impact sent her onto the steering column, puncturing an artery and compressing her lungs. Another driver saw the whole thing, called the ambulance, and waited outside the car. Certain she was dead, he didn’t even try to get her out of the car.

She should have died, but the car’s dashboard compressed her body enough to stop the bleeding. She was taken out of the car and flown to Boston. She awoke several days later, damaged, with a long road to recovery ahead, but still alive.

Some said she was lucky because she lived through it; others said she was unlucky to have the crash in the first place. I don’t think she was either because I don’t think it was really an accident. For whatever reason, she put herself in harm’s way – who knows whether she intended to hit the tree or just didn’t care enough about her life to call a cab rather than drive drunk. Either way, this was a desperate act.

But miracles happen. For whatever reason, she was given her life back, given a second chance to honor the grace and holiness of her life. She spent many months in the hospital, then returned to her life – home, children, worries, and blessings.

I’ve often wondered what she thought, waking up to a second chance. It was a very real opportunity to live an almost literally resurrected life. She must have seen it for the holy gift that it was because she never did such a thing again.

I’ve never had such an experience, but every morning I wake up I have the same question and the same choice: what will I do with this life that’s been handed to me once again? Will I see it for the holy gift it is? Mine is an ordinary life, but it’s also a living, breathing resurrection. So is everyone else’s.

Let’s hope I live a life worthy of such a blessing.

 

A Closer Look

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It’s the second half of Holy Week. Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday stand between me and Easter – the path through the dark woods of my soul. I didn’t grow up in churches that observed these dark days; we went from Palm Sunday to Easter, sometimes with a Wednesday Bible study of the crucifixion, sometimes not. The sanctuary and Sunday school room crosses were always empty: why would anyone put the risen Jesus back on the cross? The resurrection already happened and there was no going back.

I understand why my childhood churches had no crucifixes, and why they emphasized celebration and victory rather than the suffering of Jesus in the garden and the grisly way he died. I can’t say that the people in those churches were any more or less faithful, any kinder or colder – the path of faith runs through all neighborhoods. But I do think something of the human condition was skipped over rather than faced – not about Jesus, but about the rest of humanity. While I hate to admit it, I doubt I’d do any better than the flawed, fragile people who stood by while Jesus died. Most everyone ran away, avoiding the whole scene. A few women and John the beloved disciple managed to stay and hear the final few words from the cross. This reveals more about myself than I usually care to see or admit. I’m no better than anyone else, and I’m just as likely to run away as anyone else. Given the right circumstances, just enough fear for my life, I would betray Jesus, too.

Holy Week isn’t a time to indulge in self loathing: it’s a time to take a long, hard look at myself – faults, strengths, and the whole mixed bag I call my inner and outer life. If I’m honest about what I see, I’ll ask for God to hold my hand as I walk this world. If I’m not, I just might fool myself into thinking I can make the walk alone.

Take my hand, O Lord, and walk with me through these dark days and nights. I need you. Amen.