Strike me and heal me, cast me down and raise me up.
Just four lines ago, I prayed: I dare not ask either a cross or consolation. Am I now praying for both? If this line were taken alone, yes. It reads like a demand rather than a request. But it is one sentence among others, part of a larger whole – a handing over of personal agenda to the one who created me, as Jesus did before he was crucified. My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want. (Matthew 26:39). It’s the opposite of a demand, it’s a total surrender. Let it be with me what you will. I will not insist upon my own way, but I will trust that you hold me fast in hurt and relief, in humiliation and exaltation.
I’m not asking for trouble and I’m not asking for an easy life. I’m open to whatever comes because God will find me in all circumstances. In Yes, And: Daily Meditations, Richard Rohr points to the deeper truth behind this line:
Try to remember and give thanks for the good things even more than the bad, but learn from both of them. And most of all, as the prophet Baruch said, “Rejoice that you yourself are remembered by God.” (5:5)
(Cincinnati, OH: Franciscan Media, 2013, p.209)