Giving Up?

A friend of mine decided in her late 20’s that she didn’t want kids. She just couldn’t see giving up what she wanted to have a child. She had a certain order to her life, with enough time to devote to work, husband, and hobbies. She had more than enough money for a comfortable life, home and vacations included. Another life, especially a young one, wouldn’t fit into the life pattern she had created. While she enjoyed playing with my two sons when they were young, she didn’t want high chairs and pediatricians and diapers and plush toys. It’s been almost two decades since then, and she hasn’t regretted her decision.

If I hadn’t had children, would I regret it? I don’t know. I’ve always thought of children as bringing something into life, not taking something away. I changed my life pattern when they arrived, but I didn’t lose it – I just added more people.

I don’t think any of us were put on this earth for the sole purpose of having children. Life is too big for such a limited view. Mostly, I think we are here to be a delight to God and others, whatever that involves. Children or no children, that’s a truth I’m not willing to give up.

Photo on 11-6-15 at 11.09 AM

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Johnna

I am a Christian educator and writer.I have worked in churches, denominational offices, and seminaries. I have a PhD in Theology from Princeton Theological Seminary, with a focus on Practical Theology and educating in faith. In 2010, my book, "How the Other Half Lives: the challenges facing clergy spouses and partners," was published by Pilgrim Press. I believe that words can build doorways that lead to encounters with God through the Spirit.

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