Category Archives: Theology

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will: Final Meditation

Teach me how to pray. Pray thou thyself in me.   Amen.

This prayer ends with words very similar to “Prayer at the Beginning of the Day,” also by Philaret of Moscow. Since I already wrote something, I asked my friend, Bill Albritton, if he’d do the honors…

In Mere Christianity old friend C.S. Lewis writes:

“An ordinary simple Christian kneels down to say his prayers. He is trying to get in touch with God…God is the thing to which he is praying – the goal he is trying to reach. God is also the thing which is pushing him on – the motive power. God is also the road or bridge along which he is being pushed to that goal. So that the whole threefold life of the three-personal Being is actually going on in that ordinary little bedroom where an ordinary man is saying his prayers.”( Lewis, C.S.; Mere Christianity, New York: Touchstone; Simon & Schuster, 1996)

God praying in us, God praying on our behalf, God listening to our praying. Yet at the same time, we remain ourselves – not dissolved into God, but very much ourselves in our praying. Perhaps that’s what prayer really is: God being God, we being who we are, held by love in time and space.    Amen.

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will: Line Thirteen

I have no other desire than to fulfil thy will.

 On a deep level, this is the truth of my life. These are the words, this is the path, leading to the reign of God here and now. I am myself most truly when I am God’s most willingly. I pray this line sincerely.

On a superficial level, this isn’t true. I have other things I want to have or do. I’d like to set the terms for what a holy life is. I’d really like the will of God to be a bigger version of my own will. I pray this line half-heartedly.

How do I reconcile my deep and superficial desires? Praying this line moves me to reframe the whole thing. I’m praying not for God’s will to be a bigger version of my own, but for my will to be a miniature version of God’s. In this time, this place, and my life, may my will be a clear reflection God’s will. I pray this line always.

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will: Line Eleven

I offer myself as a sacrifice to thee.

 There’s a difference between offering myself as a sacrifice to God and masochism:

Sacrifice to God deepens the spirit, making me more human, whole, and holy. When suffering is involved, it is redemptive. It is never pointless.

Masochism cripples body, mind and spirit; it’s inhumane, shattering, and an act against God’s gift of life. Self-inflicted suffering is an exercise of self hatred, not Godly love.

God grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will: Line Eight

Visit and help me, for thy great mercy’s sake.

 I visited strangers one year at Mercer Medical Center. I sat with them, talked with them, prayed with them, listened to them. I’d refill empty water glasses and remove food trays. Some were patients, some hospital staff, some were family or friends. I had the honor of hearing many life stories and the privilege of finding the Spirit awaiting my visit, already embracing the sick and the healthy. I saw enough pain to break my heart, and found enough grace to heal it.

I know that the Spirit is always present, so I don’t really need to ask God to visit; it’s asking for what’s already been given. But I misplace this truth  when I need it most. I’m so focused on what’s bothering me that I can’t see beyond it. So when I ask for God’s help and visitation, I’m really asking for God to remove my spiritual blindness. God is merciful, patiently giving me eyes to see what I already have.

Jesus visited and helped so many people during his time among us. He healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, and brought peace to the possessed. He restored lepers to their families and villages. He is the answer God gave to this prayer, and he comes to us today in the Spirit. This prayer is always answered.

Another wonderful thing: sometimes we are the answer to this prayer, sent by the Spirit. We have the honor of being the hands of Christ and the grace of serving the Christ we meet in those around us. We just don’t see it most of the time…

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me. Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?” And the king will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” (Matthew 25:35-40)

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will

O Lord, I know not what to ask of thee. Thou alone knowest what are my true needs. Thou lovest me more than I myself know how to love. Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me. I dare not ask either a cross or consolation. I can only wait on thee. My heart is open to thee. Visit and help me, for thy great mercy’s sake. Strike me and heal me, cast me down and raise me up. I worship in silence thy holy will and thine inscrutable ways. I offer myself as a sacrifice to thee. I put all my trust in thee. I have no other desire than to fulfil thy will. Teach me how to pray. Pray thou thyself in me.   Amen. (From A Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers, Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1991, p.24)

 

About the Author of this prayer:

Metropolitan Philaret was the son of a Russian Orthodox priest who became a priest himself. He taught at St. Petersburg Theological Academy, and eventually became the Metropolitan of Moscow – a ranking somewhere between archbishop and patriarch. Not quite on par with the pope, but awfully close. He worked for offering scripture and other teachings in Russian so more people could read them. He wrote a catechism that is still in use. I suspect Philaret was a very busy man who had his share of difficulties.

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will: Line Seven

My heart is open to thee.

      Having a heart open to God is a major inconvenience. I can’t pursue my own ends to the exclusion of those around me, and I question the ends I would pursue. There is no way I can act as if my ends justify my means, especially when the spirits of others and the entire created world live with the consequences, always and everywhere. With an open heart, I live with the sure and complete knowledge that God’s love for others equals God’s love for me, and that God will provide a way for me to walk kindly through the places and years given to me. But it’s a lot of work and little glory, living with a heart that sees what is good: and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8). So I don’t live with a heart open to God most of the time. It’s why I have to pray for it; I can’t do this without God. An open heart is a gift and a responsibility, loving world and self with every talent and shortcoming, through intentional action and purposeful inaction.

The psalmist put it in these words: Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me (Ps. 51:10). I know enough to be careful what I pray for, because I’ll surely get it. It won’t look the way I expect it to – God is constant, but not predictable. And not hindered by my lack of imagination. Then I can’t pretend I don’t know the truth: the life God has given me isn’t just sufficient, it’s extraordinary and holy.

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will: Line Six

 I can only wait on thee.

 Wait on has two meanings: 1) to stay in place, delaying action, for the convenience of someone else; and 2) to serve food and drink. The meanings are related, of course. Wait staff stays in place, tailoring their timing and action to their customers.  The busiest times for servers are dictated by the ones who are eating and drinking, breaks come when there is a lull in business, and take-home pay depends on how well the customer is served. Food and drink aren’t instant products, so servers must take kitchen timing into account. Waiting on is connecting people to nourishment; when done well, it revives the spirit as well as the body. That’s why it’s a hospitality industry.

While studying at seminary, I worked at faculty lunch, setting up the room and buffet, then serving those who came. After the professors and administrators helped themselves to food, I’d pour water, remove plates, and serve coffee. At the end, I’d strip the tables and buffet, deliver the last of the dishes to the kitchen, and sit down for my own lunch. I enjoyed the work. Finding something physical and social that provided a paycheck was a welcome break from graduate studies, and the food was great.

In the three years I spent at faculty lunch, only two professors seemed comfortable having me as their server. Most looked anywhere but directly at me, especially if I was a student in one of their classes. When I asked if they wanted coffee, they’d mumble a reply. When I refilled empty water glasses, they leaned away. It was such a weird reaction, that I asked one of my professors about it. She said, “It just seems wrong, having someone I see in class serve me.”

Her answer bothers me to this day. At a graduate institution that prepares men and women for the ministry (serving in churches, schools, prisons, and hospitals), the gift of hospitality and service shouldn’t be considered inappropriate for anyone. After all, most of the faculty and most of the students participated in a table fellowship at least once a month without considering it demeaning – the sacrament of communion. Why was serving and receiving communion a privilege but serving and receiving lunch an embarrassment?

Waiting on God is: 1) living my life in God’s good time rather than my own; and 2) offering hospitality to God’s beloved: every living thing in this universe. I can accept with grace the service of others, and I can serve others with joy. Both are blessings, sure signs of God’s love. After all, God did both for me in Jesus.

About the Author of this prayer:

Metropolitan Philaret was the son of a Russian Orthodox priest who became a priest himself. He taught at St. Petersburg Theological Academy, and eventually became the Metropolitan of Moscow – a ranking somewhere between archbishop and patriarch. Not quite on par with the pope, but awfully close. He worked for offering scripture and other teachings in Russian so more people could read them. He wrote a catechism that is still in use. I suspect Philaret was a very busy man who had his share of difficulties.

Prayer for Acceptance

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will

(Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow)

      O Lord, I know not what to ask of thee. Thou alone knowest what are my true needs. Thou lovest me more than I myself know how to love. Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me. I dare not ask either a cross or consolation. I can only wait on thee. My heart is open to thee. Visit and help me, for thy great mercy’s sake. Strike me and heal me, cast me down and raise me up. I worship in silence thy holy will and thine inscrutable ways. I offer myself as a sacrifice to thee. I put all my trust in thee. I have no other desire than to fulfil thy will. Teach me how to pray. Pray thou thyself in me.   Amen. (From A Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers, Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1991, p.24)

About the Author of this prayer:

Metropolitan Philaret was the son of a Russian Orthodox priest who became a priest himself. He taught at St. Petersburg Theological Academy, and eventually became the Metropolitan of Moscow – a ranking somewhere between archbishop and patriarch. Not quite on par with the pope, but awfully close. He worked for offering scripture and other teachings in Russian so more people could read them. He wrote a catechism that is still in use. I suspect Philaret was a very busy man who had his share of difficulties.

 

Over the next couple of weeks, Philaret’s prayer will be the focus of my writings. I started my blog with his Prayer at the Beginning of the Day, and wanted to spend time with another of his prayers. Sentence by sentence I’ll reflect on Philaret’s words. Please add your own thoughts – questions, concerns, and epiphanies…

Hallway

I walk in its space dozens of times each day, rarely stopping longer than it takes to open a door going out of it. It is the transition space, separating and joining bedrooms and bathroom, doing the same for the kitchen and the front room, with the attic and closet doors entering between. The various detectors, a couple of pictures, a mirror, an overhead light, and a cross reside in the hall. The only natural light comes from windows in other rooms. With doors closed and light off, it’s almost as dark as the basement. It is the inner crossroad in my house, ushering everyone who lives here from one room to another virtually unnoticed and rarely appreciated, a means to another end.

I spend time here when I clean – wiping down woodwork, walls, and ceiling for Spring cleaning, dusting pictures and sweeping the floor every week. It may not be a major destination for anyone living here, but it requires time and energy to keep it in good order. Not just the main rooms, but the place in between bears life.

I think the same can be said of the transition times in my life, those in-between periods that connect one stage of life to another. Both my sons are in the space between childhood and adulthood, one just at the beginning and the other closer to the end. As they move from one stage to another, so do my husband and I. No longer parents of young children, but parents of sons moving into adulthood.It’s certainly not the first transition, and it won’t be the last. If I’m honest, every day is a place of transition on this journey from birth to death, but there are settled times along the way – the rooms we reach through the in-between space.

Like my hallway, transition space is lit by where I was before and the place where I’m going, its own light source only shining if I choose to flip it on. There are many doors, simultaneously connecting and separating life choices and stages. It’s not meant to be a destination, just a gracious entry.

I’m glad there’s a cross in my hallway. In this in-between space, in this in-between time, at every crossroad, God meets me. The one who created me, the one who walked this earth like me, and the one who is with me always – a lot of grace per square foot.

Beginning Prayer

O Lord, Grant me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely upon thy holy will. In every hour of the day reveal thy will to me. Bless my dealings with all who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day with peace of soul, and with firm conviction that thy will governs all. In all my deeds and words guide my thoughts and feelings. In unforeseen events let me not forget that all are sent by thee. Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering and embarrassing others. Give me strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day with all that it shall bring. Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray thou thyself in me. Amen. (Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow, d. 1867. From A Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers, Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1991, p. 20) 

I came across this prayer twenty years ago; It’s called “Prayer at the beginning of the day,” but I think it could as easily be Prayer at the Beginning of the Blog. It’s my choice for starting A Pen and a Prayer because sacred truths cannot be written or read outside prayer – something that will be an ongoing theme in my writings.

Over the next few days, I will build this prayer sentence by sentence. Starting with the first and ending with Amen, each line will come with reflection. When the Amen arrives, thoughts on the whole prayer will come. Please add your thoughts and questions. Prayer is always said before God and in the company of faithful seekers, and I welcome your company.